So you want to G-Spot orgasm? What's a girl to do?? How's a guy to help?? Everyone is talking about it, but no one is telling us how to do it! Never fear, we're here to help with some practical, non-sensational advice. All right then, first let us introduce the topic with some brief history and background.
The "G-Spot". Never has such a spot on the human body been so talked about, so raved about, and so very shrouded in mystery. Named after a German-born physician, Ernst Gräfenberg, the spot's physical existence (location, structure, definition) is hotly debated even today. What IS undeniable is the numerous women who report sexual response resulting from stimulation of the anterior (front) wall of the vagina. Women have reported massive, deep orgasms resulting from the G-spot, some even experiencing female ejaculation with these orgasms (expulsion of fluid, not urine). Recently it has been theorized that the nerve endings and internal structures of the clitoris extend down to the vagina, enabling these vaginal orgasms.
Ever since entering mainstream consciousness in the early 80's, countless women have sought the explosive, deep orgasms promised of the G-spot. Many have failed, frustrated and un-orgasmed (is that even a word?). We are here to tell you there are ways to find and enjoy your G-spot, but to enjoy the journey and not obsess with the destination. Every woman's capacity to stimulate this sensitive spot in the vagina varies from one to the next. Sex toys and other accessories lay claim to being made for the G-spot, but there is more to it than putting a toy inside and expecting one-click away, rocking orgasms.
Without further ado, we will now move on to the heart of the matter.... the where and the how of unlocking the mystery of the G-spot.
WHERE: One of the troubles with the G-spot is it isn't really a spot, with a unique physical differentiation. It doesn't announce itself like a penis or the clitoris. For every woman this area is different in size, location, and level of sensitivity. Sometimes the pesky thing can seem to have a mind of its own, shifting in location and feel (usually related to levels of arousal). If you are having difficulties finding it, this is normal and practice is vital (remember... it's the journey, not the destination!).
On the human map, the g-spot is located just inside the vagina on the anterior (front) wall. Depending on the woman this could be around one to three inches from the opening, but please skip the ruler as this is a generalized measurement. The spot itself is not just one single spot. It is textured, spongy tissue running along the urethra, right against the vagina, that swells during arousal. This tissue is sometimes referred to as the "female prostate" (aka paraurethral glands or skene glands) and is the source of female ejaculate. Female ejaculation is another hotly debated sexual response and when experienced is a result of direct G-spot stimulation.
The easiest method to use in locating the G-spot is inserting one or two fingers, palms facing front of the G-spot owner's body, and curling them in a "come here" type motion. The tips of the finger should be massaging the G-spot area. Because the tissue surrounds the urethra, G-spot massage often comes with the sensation of needing to pee.
HOW: Now you know where the spot is (maybe, sort of?), how does one go about getting it to respond to attention? This can be just as frustrating, and closely related to, finding the G-spot. The three key ingredients to G-spot stimulation... patience, practice, and pressure. Patience is required as a G-spot orgasm is most often not reached overnight, nor even G-spot pleasure in general. Thus, one must practice. The more often you try stimulating the G-spot, the easier it becomes to attain pleasurable results. Lastly, firm pressure from your fingers or toys is essential. Some women may be fine with light stroking, but most will need constant and firm pressure to get results.
Starting out, prospective G-spot explorers should begin with their own fingers. Get familiar with your vagina by touching and massaging the entrance and working your way inward. Pay attention to any changes in texture, paying special attention when you have reached the front facing wall of the vagina. Feel side to side and up and down and try to determine if you detect a spongy structure just under the skin. Curl your fingers and experiment with pressure strokes, from light to very firm. Getting a hand cramp and sore wrist yet? Don't worry! The point of this exercise is not to work to orgasm, but to become more familiar with your body. Some of you may even have that pleasurable "aha!" moment. Repeat this exploration as many times as you like, even introduce clitoral stimulation while doing so (besides being fun, arousal can make the G-spot more prominent).
If using your own hand doesn't bother you, by all means continue if you like! If a wrenched arm and hand is not something you enjoy, the next step is to introduce a partner and/or a toy. If it is a partner have them do the same exploration activity above with their fingers (one or two). Communicate much and often. Let them know by words, sounds, or body language if they are in a good spot. Let them know to use more pressure or less, to move faster or slower. Do not get impatient if there isn't instant pleasure, or if the feeling of needing to pee persists (at least at first). Have your partner simultaneously perform oral, or one of you add a vibrator or hand for the clitoris. Don't worry if you don't orgasm that session and move on to other things, you put in some of that "practice" we talked about.
Adding a toy can make things easier for solo G-spot play, and give a partner's fingers a rest as well. There are literally hundreds of products on the market that say "G-spot" or "G" on their label. This is often because the toy simply has a curved tip and we don't recommend many of them. When selecting a good G-spot toy make sure that it does curve, that the tip is more broad than pointy (no one likes being poked in their vagina), and that it is firm and smooth. It need not vibrate, but is fine if it does. The important part is that it mimics the concept of the "come here" fingers and slides easily while under pressure. A particularly famous G-spot toy is a stainless steel arc ending with bulbous, round ends of different sizes. So, curved, firm, and smooth. Avoid overly pointy and or very soft, flexible toys no matter what the box says.
Now that you have your toy, apply it just as if it were fingers. Using with a dab of lubricant could be beneficial, and we recommend trying it solo before a partner. Then, simply insert the tip, apply pressure and begin firm, slow strokes. Adjust your movements and pressure as is pleasurable to you, and like before feel free to add clitoral stimulation.
There you are, hopefully on your way to adding the deep orgasms of the G-spot to your sexual repertoire! Again, use patience, practice often, and pay attention to pressure. Lastly, don't obsess about the destination, enjoy the journey of G-spot discovery no matter the outcome. Sex is delightful in its variety and all activities big and small contribute to enjoying every minute of it!
