The sex accessory industry is full of terms and labels, some more well-known than others. Save the occasional loud bar discussions about various sexual implements with your friends, many of us are rarely (if ever) exposed to the actual meanings of these words. Once again (like sex in general), we are left to our own devices to figure out what to call that toy we're after, what that lube we love is made of, or what the heck an adjustable press nipple clamp does anyway?? Part of our job here at the store is to decipher what someone is looking for when they can't find the right words to explain it, which we do gladly. We understand the challenge and try to remember that this is something we think, talk, and handle on a daily basis. How many jobs out there is it perfectly acceptable to loudly discuss "cyber cocks" or "pussy & ass strokers"? Anyway, enough of the sophisticated talk... let's discuss a few of our world's more mysterious or delightful terms so you can amaze your friends, or simply make your next shopping trip all the easier (while impressing the employees with your immense vocabulary!).
Dong/Dildo - Yes, if you've made it past puberty you've probably heard these words, but do you really know the meaning? These are usually any NON-vibrating phallic object intended for insertion (vaginal or anal). They range from ultra-realistic penis replicas with dual densities to abstract works of art made of glass or steel. What's a dong and what's a dildo, you ask? First, there really is little difference between the two. We have even struggled to nail down a definitive comparison. Our own manufacturers can't seem to make up their mind which is a dildo and which is a dong. From a customer's perspective, just choose your favorite word and go with it, we'll understand what you are talking about.
NOTE: A dildo or dong is not a vibrator. If asked for a dildo, we head to the non-vibrating section. Even saying "vibrating dildo" will help if looking for a vibrating object. Again, some manufacturers even refer to more realistic looking and feeling vibrators as vibrating dongs or dildos. Consistency in the sex toy naming department? Not so much.
BDSM - Hey now, that's not even a WORD! True, it's an acronym and umbrella term for a lifestyle, sexual activity, and/or product involving Bondage, Dominance/Discipline, Submission/Sadism, or Masochism (exact words used may vary depending on the source). BDSM has become increasingly popular and "mainstream" (50 Shades of Grey anyone?) because of relaxed attitudes and the myriad of ways and levels it can be enjoyed. If you're in the market for a blindfold, cuffs, whip, paddle, crop, nipple clamps, electro sex kit, wartenberg wheel, rope, bondage tape, spreader bar, and so VERY much more... you are a proud BDSM participant! You don't have to be a leather clad dominatrix, or a collar-lead slave submissive to enjoy BDSM. Like many aspects of sex it is however you like it, even if it is a pair of soft cuffs and a feather tickler. No matter the activity or level always remember this... the basic three principles, the foundation, of any, and we mean any, BDSM play is safe, sane, and consensual. Any BDSM interaction is at its roots an exhange of power and trust, and the three principles allow that exchange to occur for the benefit of all involved.
Rabbit - Not the fluffy, hippity hoppity kind. We're talking about the kind of vibrator that has steadily rose in popularity ever since its introduction into the US in about the mid-1980's. By itself, the word doesn't refer to any one specific product, but a whole family of vibrators that have a shaft for vaginal insertion and an attached clitoral vibrator. We prefer to refer to them as "dual vibes" as they are just that, vibrators that give a woman simultaneous stimulation to both internal and external happy spots. There are many, many different designs (including the popular rotating beads on the shaft). The word rabbit only came into use because the first dual vibes imported from Japan had the tickling part of the clitoral vibe literally shaped as bunnies, especially bunny ears. Many manufacturers still use this shape today, as well as you might see nubs, ticklers, bears, ducks, hummingbirds, butterflies, dolphins, and more!
Ben Wa Balls - We honestly don't know the exact history behind this name, and for all we know it was made up to give the product a more exotic sounding mystique and appeal (not unknown in this industry). Like "rabbit", it has become synonomous with a grouping of products that are ball shaped and intended for placement inside the vagina. Fortunately, the term "Ben Wa" is slowly disappearing in favor of more practical names like "pleasure balls" or "kegel balls".
Here is what they are for... 1) Pelvic floor muscle exercise (Kegel), and 2) Vaginal stimulation solo or with penetration. Exercise is easy to understand and explain, and one of the best uses of these products. Depending on the design and without much more detail, simply insert into vagina and hold for period of time (doing so routinely). The result will be improved sexual response, vaginal elasticity, and/or bladder control. The pleasure use is much more difficult to guarantee good results (if any results at all). The shifting/banging movement could provide sexual teasing to some women, and the pressure or novelty of their presence during intercourse could heighten sexual pleasure for others. If you're interested, go for it! That's the joy of sex, variety.
Warning! - We've heard many customers and even people within the industry say these balls are also for anal use. We strongly advise against it and this is not the products intended use. The ER of hospitals has many, many stories of objects lodged in people's rectums. We're sure most of us don't want to be the subject of those stories. Balls with connected retrieval cords may work, but are far from fail-safe. Just find an anal appropriate toy such as anal beads or ripple plugs.
That's all for this Fun With Words! Ever wonder what some sex accessory words mean, or even just a sex related word? Just ask us!
